The resilience and life experience that reaches far beyond ‘a gap’ on my professional resume

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I have spent months applying for jobs. Months giving the practiced, approved, answer for why there are gaps in my resume. Why I haven’t been working, writing and focusing on my career.

The majority assume that its because I am a mom and because I gave into a biological need to procreate and extend the human race. I can see them shutting down when they come to that conclusion. They sink back into their seats and their eyes glaze over. Instead of asking insightful questions they start wrapping the interview up. I sigh inwardly and keep a smile plastered to…

Are society’s prefabricated patriarchal ideals of parenthood tearing our families apart?

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“We were so happy until we had children.”

I sat with another girlfriend at a cafe as she regaled the story of her painful separation. Our children played on the equipment in front of us, my husband chasing them, and I wished we could order something stronger than the coffee in front of us. The last 12 months had put relationships and parenthood in a pressure cooker. She went on.

“I know you wouldn’t understand,” she eyed me and swirled her coffee, getting ready to level me with the kicker, “You have a husband who actually wants to be a…

It’s time we gave value to the unpaid work of raising our world’s future wealth and capital

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I was raised in a traditional family structure and my mum and aunts left me with one mandate: “Get out.”

They told us they loved their children and they loved staying home. Their truth was though that these women felt they had no voice and there was no societal value in anything they did.

I remember my mother telling me: “I raised my children but now they are grown, I have nothing.” They raised their children, but it was only recognized as a ‘labor of love’ not work.

There was no recognition for the hours they did. There was no…

Navigating loneliness in a coronavirus world

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A pervading sense of social isolation and loneliness has echoed throughout the world as we shut ourselves off from loved ones and our communities, all to tackle one major universal task: stop the spread of COVID-19 and keep our communities safe. Borders shut down, businesses closed their doors and the world stopped to hold its collective breath.

With little time to prepare for this social isolation and shutdown, governments and communities worked hard to prepare for the socioeconomic and health impacts of the COVID-19 (SARS-CoV-2) coronavirus pandemic.

We spent hours glued to television screens and clicking refresh buttons on news…

A lesson to be learned from Australian bargain-hunter home-buyers in a desperate market

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There is something to be said for the novelty of a new unique idea. It draws attention, presents intrigue and attracts interest. The thing about a unique idea though is that everyone wants a piece and wants to hear it. Anything to give you a leg up especially in a stretched, side-hustling, rising-cost-of-living world.

This has never been more true than when it comes to the experience of buying a home in a sellers market. In Sydney, Australia house prices are going gangbusters. In the past 12 months it has defied the expectations of what should happen and in just…

Have I got the job? Do I keep looking? Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

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Red tape. Background checks. Reference checks. Verification. I have a love/hate relationship with these little words.

It's been a long 12 months of applying for jobs, only to go round and round on the merry-go-round that job hunting puts us on. Application, hope (or at least an illusion of it), rejection… and then back around again.

It's been touch and go sometimes. I have cried. I have begged and pleaded with my inbox, with every job application — please let this be the one! I have sobbed while filling some of them out. …

The effect of a little kindness that still exists in a loneliness epidemic

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I have never really been the kind of person who has been able to rely on the genuine kindness of others. It still comes as a surprise to me when someone ushers me onto an escalator first, or offers for me to go first in the grocery aisle when I have one item and they have a trolley full. When people have been pulling knives over toilet paper we might begin to think that genuine kindness is in short supply.

In the busyness of life I often forget how important that genuine kindness is. Its has become something that I…

“…when she could endure life no longer, her voice came and set her free”

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There is something safe in being someone else. In dividing ourselves into pieces to hold our experiences, memories, joy, pain and trauma. Two separate selves: a public and private self. The person we are and the image of who we want to be. The person we were and the person we will become.

A Public and Private Self

I’ve lived my whole life as a divided person. I was taught from an early age that my private life needed to remain private and that in public I needed to pretend to be someone else. I grew up as a girl who was despised, hated and…

And after 7 years of parenthood they still hold true

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I never wanted children. A funny thing for a mostly stay-at-home mother of three to admit. Certainly not something that one can simply bring up at the playground when their fellow parents are complaining about all the reasons that parenthood is nothing like they imagined. They are exhausted, broke and barely feel like humans anymore. Their toddlers demand constant attention, their teenagers constantly roll their eyes at their advice and experience, and personal space and goals have taken a backseat to the titles “Mom and Dad”.

I cannot share their complaints. I knew what I was in for. I knew…

Learning to re-parent myself through the aftermath of trauma while parenting my children

An open door to a beach through a room with a dirt floor, jagged rocks and broken wood.
An open door to a beach through a room with a dirt floor, jagged rocks and broken wood.
Photo by Harrison Haines from Pexels

Parenting opens the door to our own childhoods. We see the sweet tiny faces of our children and we reminisce. We cannot help it even if we don’t want to. I never wanted to. My childhood was shut in behind a locked door that I locked firmly closed for a reason. Trauma, abuse and a mountain of guilt lurked behind it. A reality that I never wanted to live in again. I had survived it — that was enough.

In the most unconscionable ways, though, parenthood forces that door open. Not quietly either. It tears it off by its hinges.

Bronte White

Australian. Writing on mental health, family, parenthood and self discovery. In Invisible Illness, Illumination, In Fitness and In Health and Modern Parent.

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